Teacher tells a student
a=b, b=c implies a=c.
Tell me an Example.
Student: I love u - u love your daughter - so I love you're Daughter.

It's funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "Arranged marriage"
It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" O"shoots himself".

What is a girl friend?
Addition of problems,

Subtraction of money
, multiplication of
Enemies & division of friends.

A married man was asked to perform his SWOT
(Strength, Weakness, Opportunity , Threat) Analysis.
He said, my strength is my wife.
My weakness is my neighbour's wife.
Opportunity comes when neighbour goes out.
Threat comes when I myself go out

Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls . These are the world's largest waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even20 supersonic planes passing by can't be heard.Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara Falls ?"


Man: How old is your father?Boy: As old as me.Man: How can that be?Boy: He became a father only when I was born
Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in thefield"Student: A cow and a bull is grazing in the fieldTeacher:How?Student: Ladies first.

Customer: If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?PostMaster:Yes sir, it definitely will.Customer:I bet you, it won't.Post Master: Why not?Customer: It's addressed to Mumbai.

1st thief: Oh! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!2nd thief: But this is the 13th floor.1st thief: Hurry! This is no time for superstitions

Man before Marriage I like Airtel...."Aisi Azaadi Aur Kahaan" After Marriage He's Like Hutch... "Where R U Go Our NetworkFollows."

They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is
Love; after marriage it is self-defence

It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as
Women. And then he turns them into Wives!?!!!?!

After Finishing MBBS, Dr. Munna Starts his practice. He Checked 1st
Patient eyes, tongue & ears by Torch
& finally said BOLE TO.......... TORCH THEEEEK HAI

What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a Positive side!


A person, who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A person, who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE.
A person, who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.

A sardarji pulled out 6 people from a burning house...Still he was in jail.......You know why?Coz all the 6 were fire brigade staff!

*I wrote your name on sand it got washed.I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. ThenI wrote your name on my heart & i got Heart Attack .

*God saw me hungry, he created pizza .He saw me thirsty, he created pepsi .
He saw me in dark, he created lightHe saw me without problems, He created

YOU.Twinkle Twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.

*TEACHER== Name four members of the cat family?STUDENTS== Daddy cat, Mummy cat and two kittens !

*Police man== Stop, stop, your headlights are not working.The Man== Move, move, even the brakes are not working.

*Why does history keep repeating itself?Because we weren't listening for the first time!

*An Astronomer was watching the sky from his telescope.A sardar was observing him, suddenly a star falls,seeing that sardar shouted "kya nishana hai"

*When ur life is in darkness pray to God Ask him to free u from darkness andEven after you pray and you are still in darkness,Please pay your ELECTRICITY BILL !

Ataturk.... address given in the 1930s on the defence of Gallipoli

(From the address given in the 1930s by Turkey's ruler Mustafa Kemal Ataturk who led the defence of Gallipoli in Turkey against allied invasion forces in World War I, to the grieving New Zealand and Australian families who first went there to mourn their loved ones):

"Those heroes that shed their blood and lost their lives ... you are now lying in the soil of a friendly country. Therefore rest in peace. There is no difference between the Johnnies and the Mehmets to us, where they lie, side by side here in this country of ours. You, the mothers who sent their sons from faraway countries wipe away your tears. Your sons are now lying in our bosom and are in peace. After having lost their lives on this land, they have become our sons as well.”

THE VISIBLE DIFFERENCE

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the
country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live. They
spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered
a very poor family. On the return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"
It was great, Dad." "Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.
"Oh yeah," said the son.
"So, tell me, what you learned from the trip?" asked the father.
The son answered:
"I saw that we have one dog and they had four.
We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.
We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.
Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.
We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.
We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.
We buy our food, but they grow theirs
.
We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."
The boy's father was speechless.
Then his son added, "Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are."